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Wednesday, 18 October 2017

Picnic in Port Dickson Beach

When the world change from conventional laptop into tablet and smart phone,
there I got sore eyes whenever I stare at the tiny screen to long.

In result, Mak pun dah jadi malas nak menulis.
Idea tu banyak, time nak tido ke... nak mandi ada ja hasrat nak menulis.

Den bungkus badan dengan tuala,
buka laptop... HAAAA SUDAAAH

anak pun ikut duduk sekali, 
pas tu merengek nak Didi la... nak Baby Shark la... Nak Old McDonald la....

Bertukar lah kami,
Mak pegang tablet.. anak pegang laptop.
But I just couldn't stand with ipad and phone to do my work.
Id rather wrote it on a piece of paper.

So begini lah...
Bersawang blog Mak..

Monday, 2 October 2017

Happy Birthday Ibu

And 100 reason why I am so grateful having you as  A MOTHER

Last week was my Mom 60th birthday, everyone was back to hometown to celebrate with her.
(My little brother took day off and taking overnight train to be with them)
except me....

I had my ticket purchased, but I was denied to fly to Indonesia because some of the paper which should be attached to my passport was taken by the company manager (big bummer).
There you are, I was completely heart broken and sad.

I called my Mom to wish happy birthday and apologize for not be there on her big day. She said thank you and apologize back to me.

Apologize? apologize for what.
She was apologize for never celebrate our birthday.
Yes, me and all of my siblings. We never had any birthday wishes, birthday cake, birthday presents or birthday party from my parent.

And now when she getting older (apparently their mind start crawling down to childish period) they start understand how big the value of having celebration among the families, and how deep it meant to us.

She regretted, she wished she could back to the time and redo all for us.

When she apologized I thought this is the time for me to stop moan and picking up an old sore back to conversation and just leave them go

And to look back of all the goodness she's been nonstop doing to five of us.

The more Im thinking about the positive side about my Mom,
the more I should be thankful why I born in that family

1. She always proud of me. Regardless what I've done, I never heard my Mom complaining or said something negative about me (well, except my weight and my fashion taste). Rather than that she never see me as disappointment.

2. She taught me the joy of process.
I still clearly remember she always encourage us to join some competition(from singing, dancing, poetry reading in local radio, to stupid eating crackers competition). She wont take notice who we beat or how big the other participant are. She gave a very powerful words "Just try... Doesn't matter you lose or win. We all count the braveness rather than the prize"

"Ikut saja, kalah nggak apa-apa. Yang penting berani tanding" she and my eldest brother will sat at the front audience seat, nonstop give me thumbs up.

Indirectly she taught us that being a winner is not the point of the competition, but the joy of swam to get it. Ten years later I realized that many times I perform embarrassingly and people still laugh about it. I often accused my Mom from purposely giving me a life embarrassment.

3. When you not sure, just say YES as an answer and figure out the shit later.
(As long as its not a crime or life threatening)
This motto become part of me right now.

4. We don't choose a friend. However we need to classify them like we arrange book in library. Because of that "motto" I had kind of weird version teenager-hood.
I never really have a good friend or "gang" just like any other teenager girl in the school.

5. We born alone, we die alone. We success or fail alone.
Again, we talking about friends. She keep taught me to not attached to people (friends), they come and go anyway. She built me into independent individualistic Bitch, which not many people in the College like me. I have no friends, I have no hang out gang, or study group.
I did my stuff alone. I was a lonely cow tho... but somehow I am quite grateful that my individuality give me ability to create my own adventure.

6. Life is about turning food into shit
"Whether you ate beef curry or cold steamed spinach, it will turn out as the same shit on the next day"

It taught us to not being picky, either I like or dislike the food. I shall just swallow them without complaining because on the next day whatever we ate, just gone into toilet bowl anyway.

In other day, she will stir the word into 
"People wont respect you because you eating expensive food daily, they wont look you down because you eating tofu. They see you from the way you think and present yourself"

"So don't moan to much if I cook cheap food too often. because I have to save money to pay the school. To make you smart (so you present yourself better)"

" And don't be a fool, nutritious and expensive food are two different thing"

On the next moment she will use the same thing again, for different occasion. 

"Two people, one eat fried chicken, one eat tofu. On the next day, they have the similar shit"
"Cow and Goat, both eating grass. On the next day, they have two totally different shit"

Its not how much your pocket money is, its not how shiny your shoes are, its not how great the car send and pick you every day. Sometimes the person who go to school riding bike turn more successful than the other. Because he choose to be a goat (smart, working hard, study hard) rather than being a cow (stupid).

more and more "harsh" words my Mom taught me.
And built into who I am right now.

Thank you and happy birthday Mom...
I wish you taught me how to be sweet, that would make the life bit easier lol....


Wednesday, 20 September 2017

When you said so

One day my 19Mo was pointing at baloon in boost juice.
"Look, gween bawoon" She pointed at the blue one.

   "No dear, that is not green. That is blue"
   "You are not colorblind are you?"

I am immediately look at that person and tell him to not said that to my kid.
He answered back 
   "Why.. whats wrong? nothing wrong being colorblind. Aren't they cutie pie"

I got  annoyed to that person and said to him....
  "No, she is not colorblind. She just 19 months old who doesn't even know where to eat or shit yet"
  "But you are, you are colorblind, quite ugly, and FAT"

he looked at me with kind of weird look. Then I continued my word...

  "Why? whats wrong? nothing wrong being colorblind, ugly and fat. Aren't you ugly pie.."

I smiled at him, touched his belly with the corner of my newspaper and went away.

     In the evening I told my husband about what happen and he laughed at me. He said that I shouldn't get mad of him. He just joking and he meant nothing. He adding if I'm over protective to our child, they might not having skills to defense herself.

I am totally disagree with him.

1. Rudeness, in any way of expression. Either joking or serious, its still rude.

2. Rude words to early kid will damage their confident level. Something might meant nothing to us, are meant the world for them.
If they hear it once, they might be believe that was just a joke. But if they hear it multiple times when they make mistakes. will afraid making mistakes because they don't want to hear the words they don't want to hear. The become afraid of making mistakes. Which end up: NO LEARNING

3. Yes I am protective. The way I talk to that guy also teach her how to defense herself If someone said something rude to her.

Monday, 11 September 2017

Toddler Food Round Up

My little baby is growing up and I really enjoying the motherhood more than ever.
Rather than just a baby who can only cry, laugh, and poo
she is more than everything now.

We had a chat, conversation, dancing together, walk in the park,
enjoying play ground, puddle, read the book,
washing dishes, doing laundry, hanging laundry,
folding clothes

The more I love she is able to enjoy most of adult food (kid friendly version)
So that I don't have to cook food separate from her.
Well, I still do cook special food just for her. 
Then I have to cook for myself.
Just because I think her food has too much carbohydrate and fat content which not suitable for me
*psssttt... I am trying to lose weight which never happen anyway lol.

Here are some of the food I made for her

Oat porridge with yogurt and dried fruits

Fritata, Toast, String Cheese, Chocolate Milk

Toast, Scrambled Eggs, Sausages, Mushroom, Tomatoes

steamed sticky rice in coconut milk

Breakfast mostly made from protein and carbohydrate.
Since she is not really into eggs lately, and she never really like to eat meat in the morning.
I tend to give her High-Carb meal and cup of warm milk soon as she open her eyes.

While Lunch would be more variety in her plate. At this time I do spoil her with lot of choice of vegetables. I would not force her to eat certain food.
I let her choose whichever she wants to eat, and left the unwanted.

Stir fried Pasta, Steamed broccoli, Carrot, Cauliflower.
Roast Chicken from left over.

Vegetable soup (carrot, napa cabbage), Fish Ball

Soto Ayam (Indonesia Yellow Chicken Soup) served with rice noodles, hard boiled egg.

Spinach noodle soup, Carrot, Choy Sim, boiled egg

Fried Noodle, Omelette, Fried Tempeh, Yoghurt

Steamed Rice, Vegetable soup, Corn fritter

For Dinner for baby at 6pm, mostly I offered more carbohydrates and protein just to fill her up (so that she can sleep well). About 7:30 we will watch TV While we waiting her Dad back from work, she will have another session of sliced fruits as her snacks accompanied by warm milk.

Rice, hard boiled egg,
sweet and sour prawn

fried rice with peas,
stir fried carrot, apple, cherry tomato,

fried pasta with scrambled egg, sausages and vegetable

steamed rice, sweet sour prawn and vegetable,
hard boiled egg

marmite on toast, cantaloupe

steamed rice, stir fried vegetable, fish cake

banana, frosties, cheese

pasta, bok choy, fish ball

sticky rice, banana, raisins, frosties, baby biscuits,
steamed sticky rice

Fried flat noodle with carrot and beef ball

Wednesday, 30 August 2017

Short Trip To Cherating Malaysia

It gonna be a trip which I would never forget in a sad way.
I was become the worst ignorance angry parent ever for the whole trip while my 18 Months old baby really tried hard to pleased me.

Marcella just had very bad cold after Indonesian trip, almost 20 days she had a sleepless night. When she look much better and us the adult start worn out we decide to have some vacation. Just to give her some sandy-outdoor play and give us some rest.

Marcella had a light fever day before we went, and we take it as the end of her cold. So we didn't check further, and keep going to the plan. We drove to Cherating Beach, East Coast Malaysia.
And stayed at Holiday Villa.

Marcella with her swollen cheek I wasn't realize that she had something wrong in her mouth.
I kept thinking myself that her fever and her mouth pain was caused by teething.

I can see it now that she was really tried hard to pleased me and tried to stop me from getting mad at her.

For a moment she forget about her pain and enjoy her afternoon.
But it wasn't last long because I started to feed her (which most of the time she said NO and made me mad),

the battle continued to brushing session.
The drama getting worse, she cried and cried and cried and cried.
And I lost my sanity

Like usual, mom-kid battle.
Dad came as referee.
He took Marcella and brought her to swim. 
To cool her down and give me some times to rest.

Swimming pool in Holiday Villa Cherating

On the next day she just stuck with her Dad.
Refused to stay closed with me unless breastfeeding and sleep time.

She look so traumatize with me.

we bought batteries powered cat just to cheer her up a bit

She smile a bit with her swollen mouth

No smile for Mummy.
(I don't deserved it anyway)

Stop over in Teluk Cempedak Beach for lunch and to check around.

Teluk Cempedak has more beautiful beaches and plenty amenities to served us (thats my favorite thing) the convenience.

Enjoyed playing kite with Dad.

The next day we went to pediatrician, and we were shock that she got mouth infection.
There were white thick fungus covering almost every single space of her mouth roof 
(I bet my half-force-brushing was make them spread faster).

We have to go to hospital to get her lab test.
mouth swab etc.

And very glad that was only fungus, no other microorganism to make it complicated.

Pediatrician gave us wide range of anti fungus.
It took us another 10 days to clear all the infection.

Moral of the story:
Listen to your kid, don't stubborn yourself and force them to do what you want just because to make the task done on time.
Often we need just to put all our mind and work aside (leave the house messy, leave the washing undone, leave the dirty dishes as it is). Sit next to our kid and watch them mindfully (not watch and twinkling of the phone).

Listen to what they tried to tell you.
Clearly Marcella said that she had problem in her mouth, all pain.
I just refuse to look further and make stupid assumption it was her teething problem.
Instead I keep brushing her tiny mouth. Make the wound bigger and infection spread faster.

I just couldn't imagine the pain she cried but half force herself to eat the food I gave her.
I bet her mind was saying "just so Mummy didn't mad at me

Am I regret...?
Every now and again, I just often randomly leave my task just to hug her and apologize.